I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize