It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
