What a fucking waste of an outfit
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
