Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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