what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
