This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
do herpes really smell.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
