If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
