she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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