Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
