He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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