Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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