He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
