There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
