you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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