Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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