I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
