i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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