he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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