I must be too annoying 4 u.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I booty called her while she was in labor.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
