I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Never underestimate the power of titties
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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