This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
