Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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