Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
