i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
