So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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