Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
