You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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