Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
All the doctor said was why
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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