Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize