ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
