He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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