just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
