Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
