I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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