You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
