someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
