If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize