So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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