i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize