Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the day after is always just damage control
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
