Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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