What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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