Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
