so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
