btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize