in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
40s are totally the cure
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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