I want to make a zoo with you.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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