Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize