What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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