I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
