Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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