watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
