Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
