just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
