i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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