It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
