why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
