I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
