I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize